ask alice

Previous Topic Next Topic
classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
1 message Options
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view

ask alice

Candace Smith

Dear Alice,

My boyfriend and I live on opposites sides of the world. We have joked
about phone sex, but I am really shy, so I don't know
how to approach it. How would I initiate it over the phone?

Dear Reader,

Phone sex is no laughing matter to many couples who, for job, school,
military, and/or other reasons, can't be intimate in
person. Tele-fooling around can be a relationship-saver, and gives new
meaning to the term "hotline." That said, satellite sex,
even for partners who frequently partake, is often difficult for even
the most adventurous to initiate at first — and often gets
easier with practice. This makes sense since sex usually involves at
least two people touching each other in some way: hugging,
kissing, caressing, inserting, receiving, and so on. Then there's the
eye contact, absent during phone sex unless you've gone
Jetson with a video cam. Plus most phone use is nonsexual. No wonder you
feel shy about pushing your boyfriend's buttons.

If you think about it, though, the two of you have already placed the
phone sex call by joking about it, which at least raised the
possibility of doing it. Maybe you could stay on that line with
something like, "Hey Buttercup, remember our phone sex idea...
Well...?" How ever either of you bring it up, it might help to close
your eyes and imagine that the other is right there next to
you. Turn off the lights, put on some sex music... create an environment
that sets the mood, which could even mean getting
naked. And while you're both at it, you could also prep for the call by
getting in touch with yourself as if you were starting to
masturbate. A little telephone foreplay might make it feel more natural
to start the sexual connection on the phone because it
would really be a continuation of what's already begun.

Now that you're in the mood, here are some words that might ring your
boyfriend's bell, and keep him on the line for a long

     "Operator, I need some assistance."
     "What are you wearing... or not wearing?"
     "Your voice makes me __________."
     "I love when you put your __________ on/in my __________. "
     "The next time I see you, I'm going to __________."
     "Is that a cell phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see

You could also forgo some of the spontaneity by making a phone sex date
so that both of you know the general plan, and
might think ahead of time about what you can do when you answer or make
the call(s).

Also know that phone conversations especially ones on cell and cordless
phones are not always private. Who hasn't
been on the phone when all of a sudden you're part of others'
conversations, or they're a part of yours?

Hope these suggestions help. Gotta go now, something's vibrating.